I Can See Clearly Now

Now we have a little more time to catch our breath and gather our thoughts, details the time constraints and general lethargy of late restricted us from sharing with you keep bubbling to the surface. We reckon it’s about time to rectify that.

Glasses, Spectacles – call them what you will; they’ve always been part of The Homestead.

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The Goat Herd was the first glasses wearer when, at the age of four, she failed the kindergarten eye test; at eighteen months, the only way of ensuring The Farmer’s stayed in place was by way of a very stout elastic band. The Renovator made it to sixteen before not being able to read the programme synopsis on the TV proved too much for him, and two year old Farm Girl was assigned them more as a way of signalling to others she has an eyesight issue than as an aid. So, when The Bean Counter threw in the towel and joined the speccy ranks, that left only one sole naked face on The Homestead: your humble scribe.

Now, just between you and me these glasses wearers have driven me mad over the years. The younger ones would take them off in a manner that stretched the arms, leave them on the floor for unsuspecting people to stand on, fall off bikes/skateboards/jungle gyms and scratch the lenses, or – ultimate sin -throw them in temper. Mozart and his blimmin’ Clarinet Concerto alone cost us a new lens and a general frame panelbeating. The Renovator kept growing (who knew sixteen year old heads were not adult sized?!) requiring a regular update of frames and The Bean Counter has super-long eye lashes that create havoc with the anti-scratch/anti-glare/whatever-the-latest-anti-thing. These people just did not understand how to care for this major investment sitting on their noses.

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And then this happened.

Words can not express the joy at being able to read my own text messages when away from home, the labels in the supermarket, a menu, and aged articles in out-of-date waiting room magazines; all these being places far away from where my reading glasses were. However, this new development has exposed me as being far and above the worst glasses-wearer-carer. I have sat on them more times than I care to recall, I knocked them off the bedside table and then stood on them while making the bed, and I even caught myself just before I launched them across the room when I broke the fifth and final sewing needle trying to hem a pair of jeans. None of these things, however, resulted in a costly visit to our friendly local optometrist. No, those three visits have resulted from a failing I had no idea I possessed: that of over-enthusiastic cuddling.

Initially, to minimise damage, I attempted to whip my glasses off when a cuddle looked imminent but that somewhat spoiled the moment. Then I worked on a turn-the-face-away move, but my cuddlees read that as affection being withheld. Now, I just roll with it.

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I’d rather walk around with wonky glasses or foot yet another spec-tweaking bill than miss out on one of these.

 

 

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23 thoughts on “I Can See Clearly Now

  1. I thought they were new and yep I can definitely relate to the constant swear inducing smearing of lenses which drives me bonkers every day and all the other woes of having a young glasser wearer in the house but all worth it for that gorgeous photo (which I can see unlike someone who has to have the menu read to him because of his own bean counting tendencies).
    Looking sharp in more ways than just the labels!

  2. I have had to wear glasses everyday since third grade and can say two things really big me about them; Not being able to lie on my side and fearing if I broke my glasses far away from home, I wouldn’t even be able to drive, legally or comfortably. I would not be able to see the end of my car’s hood in this case, making for a dangerous drive.

  3. I also failed the eye test – in 3rd grade! Got contacts when I was 12 and had laser surgery when I was 40. Now that I am approaching my 6th decade (figure that one out), I have to read the fine print at arms length, so I broke down and got reading glasses. Glasses. Again. Oh well, at least I can see! 🙂

  4. I had to get glasses when I started to drive and nervous passengers realised that I wasn’t seeing any traffic coming in from the left. Getting glasss stopped cricket balls from hitting me on the nose when I tried to catch them so I thought that they were well worth while. I often wonder in quiet moments now why none of my teachers noticed that I was grossly short sighted in one eye.

    • It is amazing how multi-purpose glasses can be; The toddler Farmer tormented our snoozing cat regularly, in a (for him) head height chair, safe in the knowledge that his would and did glasses protect him from her claws.
      Farm Girl is the perfect example of how invisible bad eyesight can be – until you get behind the wheel of a car 🙂

  5. I have some very lop-sided glasses which get crushed when I hug and am hugged. Being the shortest in the family my head like yours, is chest height. I also have one ear higher than the other which doesn’t help the glasses!

  6. I’ve worn glasses since I was seven – I tried contact lenses a few years ago but hated poking about in my eyes… anyway, after nearly 40 years it just felt funny to have a bare face! I scratch lenses whilst gardening… but it’s much better than a poke in the eye!

    • We got The Farmer contacts for playing soccer in (he was a keeper) but at the tender age of eleven he had to take the responsibility for their insertion/removal as it made me seriously queasy.
      I’d take glasses over a poke in the eye anytime 🙂

  7. Hi, My life became easier once I needed to wear specs full time not just for reading. When I put them on in the morning, I know where they are for the rest of the day – on my face. My specs are multifocals and transitional so they double as sunglasses, very convenient.

    • I am the same; my reading glasses were always at the most furthest point from where I needed them, but I still manage to sit on these ones on a regular basis when really they should remain on my face at all times. It’s one of life’s mysteries 🙂

  8. Your glasses look great! I’m sure the hugging thing will get better eventually. There are bendable frames out there – not cheap, but they do exist.

    I’m in that in between place where I use drug store reading glasses for small print, and I have prescription glasses for driving – they definitely make the road signs far more readable, but walking in them is just dangerous, as my depth perception is way off. I was warned at my recent eye exam that I am probably going to be asking for stronger reading glasses at the next visit (2 years) 😦 but at least he isn’t talking progressive lenses – no one I know who has them can stand them. I will probably be one of those women with a variety of spectacles hung around her neck…

  9. Glasses and the woes that come with are an integrated part of our lives since…I cannot remember when. Now what I want to know…why can’t all those clever heads in the world not invent self cleaning glasses??? For a slightly OCD person like me with very fidgety eye sight…it would be Nobel prize worthy. Btw great cuddle …fluttering hanky present when I saw that! Xo Johanna

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