Out of the Shadows

This is a quick blog with few pictures, but a landmark one nonetheless.

Monday’s hard frost led on to the clear blue skies and over-enthusiastic sunshine of the classic Canterbury Plains winter day, although the view from the goat’s paddock made sense of the nip in the air.

Down the road, the deer have been brought in to strip graze the paddock of brassica Colin and I have been watching grow over the last few months of our evening walks.

Colin is always surprised when the deer take to their heels on our approach. They retreat, but only so far; half a paddock is deemed a safe distance from the snuffly Labrador, apparently.

It seemed only right to attempt to photograph the Super Flower Blood Moon, rising as I put the goats to bed – but my efforts were pretty meagre. The display by moon and eclipse were awe inspiring: gorgeously coloured, clear, and so close you felt you could reach out and touch it, but don’t look to me for evidence. It was way beyond the capabilities of both me and my phone.

And now we are in the beginning stages of an extreme weather event,; “a significant period of a lot of rain,” according to a meteorologist important enough to be quoted (I wonder about his turn of phrase but find it frighteningly easy to understand) . We’ve been told to prepare for at least 200mm between now and Monday – that’s indeed a lot of rain for us. As I type this, it’s not hard to imagine; it’s hammering.

But everything has taken a bit of a back seat this week as we Homesteaders find ourselves juggling feelings of joy, relief, bonetiredness, and other stuff we still have to work out. After four years on guard, watching everything we say, how we act, how we interact with the world, we can now be ourselves again. Of course, after four years of thinking twice before every utterance and movement, having our words, intentions, and actions warped and twisted into the kind of ugly that I didn’t believe existed outside fairytales, it’s going to take a while before we remember who we actually are – but the relief is huge. Yes, legal proceedings brought against us by one we counted as our own have now reached a settlement and we didn’t lose our lifestyle or, more importantly, each other. There is to be a major change: Farm Girl will be starting conventional school in late July. We are looking at the positives – all those potential new friends, the extra curricular opportunities, the sense of belonging donning a uniform gives you – secure in the knowledge she is so totally academically, socially, and emotionally prepared for this move even if it wasn’t our first choice.

There’s a C S Lewis quote that goes (I’m working from memory here), “There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind”.

Here on the Homestead, we’re embracing Lewis’ sentiment but feel we really need to look behind a little to thank some folk: you know, those who stood beside us, laughed with us even when it really wasn’t funny, sheltered us both figuratively and literally, talked us down, talked us up, and generally wanted to be around us. To The Cat Burglar and family and The Royal Family of Melton (West): there are no words without getting mushy and maudlin and let’s not do that. To all who read this blog and comment faithfully, even when it’s a bit dire, especially sailorssmallfarm, tootlepedal, susanpoozan, and asufflolklane: thank you for allowing me to believe I could still do one thing reasonably well.

So, enough of looking back. I’m looking forward to telling you exactly how things are, in my own words, without examining them for shadows.

19 thoughts on “Out of the Shadows

  1. Wow. I’ve enjoyed your blog, without knowing that there were ructions going on behind the scenes. Good luck going forward, I look forward to continuing to follow your adventures.

  2. WOOHOO! We’re gonna need wine and food to thrash this one out. Oh and wine, did I mention wine? 🀣
    It’s a long weekend coming up, let’s do it. πŸ’•

  3. Well you hid your distress very well, i hadn’t realised what you had been going through for so long. Thrilled that all is now over and your you can look forward to a brighter future, lots of sympathy and love.

  4. No words. I know, that’s unlikley for me, right? But actually. So just big hugs to each and every one of you, a high five for FG as she gets ready for the hurly burly of high school, and a request to join in with a glass of wine or two raised in homage to a fine family who hangs together through thick and thin.

  5. You’re virtual hugs are received with thanks, the encouraging high five is just so very welcome, and please do join us for a wine or two. Your comments, questions, stories, and general enthusiasm always make me smile, generally laugh out loud, and are so appreciated xxx

  6. For you & your family to have achieved what you have in what sounds like horrible circumstances is a tribute to you all. May you all from here on continue to go & grow be founded & assured that you are all strong, wonderful, beautiful people that deserve the very best. Your photos are beautiful.

  7. That came as a surprise. You have done well to put out some normal looking posts when obviously life has not been normal at all. I hope that you find yourself on an even keel and life becomes plain sailing for a while.

  8. Well, I think you all deserve gold stars for keeping going while all that was happening in your lives.
    I can understand your ambivalence about FG going back to school after all this time but, as you say, she is more than ready and so much older than she was when last in conventional education. The positives of friends and extra-curricular activities and loads of equipment etc that you would find difficult to provide are things to look forward to and embrace.
    I love that view of snow-covered mountains! How glorious!

  9. Hi, I hope those snow covered mountains provided some solace during your darkest hours which you may not have endured without the support of your friends and extended family. May you be exhilarated by the winds of freedom blowing in your hair!

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